It's been a couple weeks since I could fall asleep with ease. Even though I feel exhausted...I lay there and toss and turn, then a few hours later little miss wakes. Time to nurse, then toss and turn a little more. October 11th, I got the call to come home to be with my Mama. Even before then, she's been on my mind constantly.
It's been four days since she passed away and it feels like a shock, still. I feel so protective of our little family bubble and the time here in her home town, amongst all her beautiful things. Reading old cards, her writings, hearing her voice here with me, wrapping myself up in her clothes, remembering what it feels like to hold her hand, kiss her cheek, smell her perfume and look at her lovely red-painted toes during evening foot rubs. I don't want time to pass and feel further away from her physical presence. I feel her presence here but though it seems selfish, I want her here in entirety.