Lately.

Life lately is mixed with the relief of cooling fall weather and the longing for days past.  Days when my mama was a phone call away and her comfort was something I innately knew.  The funny thing about the year anniversary of her passing, right around the corner is that, some days it feels like yesterday.  Other days I feel like I'm forgetting bits and pieces of her that I don't want to leave my mind and heart ever.  I'm praying and trusting that I'll remember what is important and that I'll also be reminded of lovely times I had forgotten.  I'll be honest there is a lot about her time ill that I'd be glad to forget.  The pain of it all is too much sometimes.     Though it never makes me miss her less, knowing she no longer suffers gives my heart ease.

I've made few plans for the next week because I'd like to have some space to give my feelings the time they need to work through this week ahead.  Finding my way through the past and looking forward to a new future.  That I know is bright.  I am cherishing the days at home with my little bloom, playing, crafting, looking for adventures.  One thing I know so well now, is how much I was loved by my mama.  I feel it when my heart aches like it will burst with love for my sweet daughter.  That's the thing about becoming a parent, you learn so much about the love (and frustration) of your own parents.  What a revelation it is.

So, here we are.  Soaking up the fresh fall air, looking for ways to have fun and spending time just being together, us three.  And I'm so happy to have my little bloom and her Dada beside me.

Thirty-One.

With all honesty, I wanted my 31st birthday to slip by unrecognized.  Not because I'm getting a year older.  With each year, I find myself settling deeper into my skin.  I'm totally embracing my thirties.  It was just that nagging anticipation of another first passing by without my sweet mama.  The days leading up to my birthday, weren't my best.  The day of, I felt surprisingly light.  And I had a lot off love showered on me.  Even a sweet stack of unexpected snail mail; such a delight. 

Kevin took the day off work, then he, Chloe and my brother took me out for a delicious dinner.  How lucky am I?  Cheers to my 31st year!  Thank you sweet Mama (& Pops) for bringing me into the world.  It is a lovely place to be.

Portland. part two.

My sister is always the most gracious host.  Sharing all of her gorgeous two room studio with me and little Chloe.  It's prewar charm and my sister's well traveled eclectic decor were so cozy.  It was so nice to wake up and go to bed with her nearby like we did when we were kids.  I'm ready to plan our next trip.  Maybe Kevin can join us next time.  He often stays behind to hold down the fort and work, how nice (and responsible) of him.  He really is the best.  Oh and don't worry Sis, we will book a hotel if there is three of us next time.

Posing like she owns the place.

This never happens.  I had to document it.

And what would make our trip even better?  A weekend with my aunts and cousins too!  Yep, my dad's sisters and my cousins all traveled Portland so we could spend the weekend together.  We shopped, antiqued, barbequed and relaxed.  Us girls know how to eat, relax and shop.  It was so nice to be together.  My Auntie Diane hosted us ladies and be had so much fun catching up while Chloe and Kinsey frolicked in her huge green garden of a yard.  I hope we can make these girls get togethers more frequent.  I know we all would love this. 

We also spent one afternoon visiting the cemetery in their hometown.  We brought flowers for my grandparents and my Uncle Barry.  We said goodbye to my Auntie Karen who passed away last September.  We will greatly miss her child-like spirit.  It was nice to remember her and pay tribute as I was not able to make it to her funeral.

I love these ladies.

With my beautiful cousin Morgan. 

Window shopping on NW 23rd.

With cousin Kinsey.  Best buddies after only an hour.

Sister Sister.

Sara's place.

My sister's study materials.  She is learning ancient Chinese.

Ready to go to the airport with Auntie Diane.

These two reuniting in the airport was so beyond cute.  Every day while we were away at some point Chloe would look at me and stick out her bottom lip in one big pout and say, "Dada." in near tears.  It was both sad and incredibly sweet.  This man is really loved by his girls.