Wednesday, December 28, 2011


The Invincible Summer. Art Print. by Matthew Kavan Brooks

I might just order this print.  Isn't it beautiful?  It would serve as the perfect reminder, during this winter in my heart.  Missing my mama so much this Christmas.  This season.  This day.  This minute. 

Sunday, December 18, 2011

First trip to Santa.

"Have a good day at work, Daddy."(heart melting)

The headband lasted about 2 minutes.

So tentative.  Santa was a little sketchy.  I'm proud of her instincts.

Around here, life has been busy.  We've been preparing for family, whom begin arriving tomorrow.  It will be so fun to have the house full, even though the holidays are deeply different without my sweet mama.  This week we spent time grocery shopping and unpacking to prepare for visitors.  We also made a trip to the Scottsdale Fashion Square to see Santa.  Chloe wore a special dress my mom gave her for her first birthday.  To be honest, that morning I balled my eyes out as I got her dressed.  (It was involuntary.)   I ache to share these moments with my mom and wished my mom got to see her all dressed up for Santa.  I'm not sure Chloe was a fan or perhaps she was put off by the crying kids in line ahead of her.  I got a few glances, like, "uh, mom, where are you taking me?".  Memorable, all the same.

P.S. Our trip to California was brief but so nice.  Baby Sawyer is so tiny and scrumptious.  I'll share a few photos soon.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Life around here.

Life around here has been simple.  Well the living has, the emotions haven't.  I guess that is the way it goes.  Finding our balance in a new normal is what the days are about.  I still feel like I'm on wobbly ground.  We've been pretty domestic lately.   I will say our decorations are pretty minimal at this point, a tiny peace wreath on the door, hanging stockings, and cinnamon pine cones.  Honestly the decor might not get too fancy.  I'm not gonna break my neck to "holiday" this whole house up, while we are still in boxes.  But I am feeling a warmth for the season, even if mine isn't really "holiday cheer".

We are hosting Christmas this year, so I'm trying to balance my itch to really do it up.  I know that simple can be just as beautiful but my mom's holiday decor is so memorable.  Every room was festive without looking cheesy.  She loved the fall and Christmas.  As I listen to carol's on Pandora I can her her voice sing along with them.  It's both comforting and sad.

We will make a short visit to Cali this weekend.  A quick stop to check-in with Kevin's Oncologist for the routine "all clear" blood work results, a baby shower for our friends the Loos baby boy and to meet our new little pal Sawyer who was born just 12 days ago.  I can't wait to my friend Michelle as a mommy.

Lucky for us Kevin's parents are coming to Orange County to see us too.  It will be a packed couple of days but we are so thrilled to smell the salty air and see some familiar faces.  It's strange living in a town when you have no routine or friend's houses to stop by.

When we return we will go get out tree.  That is my favorite part, the smell of pine.  I can't be talked into anything short of the real deal.  It's too fragrant to pass up.

What else have we been up to?

Cooking- nothing fancy but I'm excited that we've been eating by 6pm every night.  Mostly homemade.  (I'm tooting my own horn.)

Unpacking a little, rearranging a lot.

Laundry, the usual heap continues but we have our very own (rented anyway) washer and dryer.  I could kiss them daily, they make me enormously grateful.

Dishes.  Washing them and cleaning up tupperware, all day.  Chloe has a favorite cabinet, she constantly unloads sippy cups, bibs, bowls and tosses them about.

What else...a little holiday shopping although I'm simplifying there too.  It sounds cynical but whatever can get me through this season with sanity.  Of course our little bloom has a mad stash I've been buying since after her birthday.  I can't help myself.

That is about it.  Kevin and I (both) are crashing to sleep most nights before 9pm.  Only to be awakened at 12am, 2am, 4am and increments in between by one sad teething (we think) baby.  She is 15 months on the 21st so you'd think she'd have one tooth by then right?

Kevin is working hard and enjoying some new job responsibilities.  The environment seems to be refreshing for him.  He is getting to know a lot more people now that he no longer works solo.  And from what I hear he is getting some praise for working so hard.  That doesn't surprise me but makes me proud.

Oh and last but not least, our little lady has developed a lot of new words all of a sudden.
ball, bath, more, dada, mama, kitty, hi... each day it seems like she has a new one.  Heart melting indeed.  And she has a lot to say even when your not sure what it's about.  That cracks us up!

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