Life lately is mixed with the relief of cooling fall weather and the longing for days past. Days when my mama was a phone call away and her comfort was something I innately knew. The funny thing about the year anniversary of her passing, right around the corner is that, some days it feels like yesterday. Other days I feel like I'm forgetting bits and pieces of her that I don't want to leave my mind and heart ever. I'm praying and trusting that I'll remember what is important and that I'll also be reminded of lovely times I had forgotten. I'll be honest there is a lot about her time ill that I'd be glad to forget. The pain of it all is too much sometimes. Though it never makes me miss her less, knowing she no longer suffers gives my heart ease.
I've made few plans for the next week because I'd like to have some space to give my feelings the time they need to work through this week ahead. Finding my way through the past and looking forward to a new future. That I know is bright. I am cherishing the days at home with my little bloom, playing, crafting, looking for adventures. One thing I know so well now, is how much I was loved by my mama. I feel it when my heart aches like it will burst with love for my sweet daughter. That's the thing about becoming a parent, you learn so much about the love (and frustration) of your own parents. What a revelation it is.
So, here we are. Soaking up the fresh fall air, looking for ways to have fun and spending time just being together, us three. And I'm so happy to have my little bloom and her Dada beside me.
5 comments:
Thinking about you and sending you love over the next several days.
I think about you often...I can't say that I know what you're going through but I do hope for that maybe time will help. Halloween is my favorite holiday...I know it will be hard for you this year. I carry ur mom's memorial card in my wallet. I read it often, the Frida Kahlo quote, it gives me strength during hard times. My heart hurts for you.
And a brighter note....where did you get that pillow that says "Lockins" So cute.
Thank you for the love, ladies. My heart so appreciates your kind words.
You can buy that adorable last name pillow on etsy. Here is the link. It was a super thoughtful gift from a great girlfriend of mine.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/shannspishak?ref=seller_info
my love to you all, always. <3
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