birthday brunch

happy as a clam.  did i mention fresh squeezed orange juice?

kevin went for the eggs benedict

the best breakfast ever

it was really about all the energy we could muster up saturday morning but kevin and i did enjoy a beautiful 29th birthday brunch at my favorite spot, claire's at the museum at the long beach museum of art.  

i honestly crave their blackened salmon salad with mango, avocado, strawberries & tarragon dressing.
it was a great birthday morning with my favorite guy.  the rest of the day we slept...let's just say we both were feeling a bit under the weather.

yum!

trendsetters

there seems to a trend around here with the locklin men...
who will be next?

Matt was first to take to the clippers...

then Kevin...

followed by Bill, always supporting his boys!

week two

see what i mean about handsome?  look at those eyes.

okay, so here we are at the end of the long 5 day chemo week.  kevin's last 6 hour treatment will be done today!  perhaps even early?  i made the nurses chocolate cupcakes on wednesday, since then he's been out of treatment an hour earlier than usual, coincidence?

well, i am so in love with this man and so relieved that he is almost done.  he deserves to be enjoying these summer days outdoors, recouping and relaxing.

that's exactly what we plan on doing tomorrow...relaxing.  and a special date birthday brunch for yours truly at my favorite spot, claire's!

more than ready...

...if that is possible.  but, i'm feeling now more than ever really ready for this little girl to arrive.  i'm anxious to not be lugging around such a large belly anymore.  i'd much rather hold her in my arms.  i'm trying to remind myself to be patient after all some pregnancies go 42 weeks.  however, 39 weeks would be amazing!  40 weeks...also great.  beyond that...yikes!  i'm not gonna even think that far ahead.

the last week has been super busy.  kevin's been in treatment and of course he signed up for a class to complete while he finishes up.  leave it to him to find something smart and productive to do while getting chemo.  so he is watching lectures and learning what he needs to know to take the series 7 and get his securities license.  i wish i had an ounce of his gusto for school.  although if it were art class i'd sign up in an instant! 

this week, i've been rushing around doing last minute stuff...dental cleaning, wedding ring cleaning, several trips to target and babies-r-us to get the last of the essentials, car wash, baking treats for kevin's sweet nurses, organizing closets, baby check-ups with the midwife, stocking the fridge and writing a slew of thank you notes.  i had no idea how generous people are when you have a baby!  don't worry we've taken a few naps in there too.

kevin has his last long day of treatment tomorrow.  which means only 2 more after that and he is done!  it feels like it went so quickly, although when i mentioned that at dinner tonight.  he kinda rolled his eyes, i guess to him it has been many long hours sitting there in that darn chemo chair.  his hair was really coming out this week, even after he had cut it super short.  so, this afternoon while i napped he went for it and gave it a good shave.  if you ask me, i think he looks really cute!

over the months

now at 37+ weeks

baby girl will be arriving shortly and we will then flood our blog with pictures of her sweet face.  in the meantime,  i thought it'd be fun to share her growth over the months.  it feels like mostly my growth.  no matter how ginormous i feel currently, once she's in my arms, none of that will matter.

it's been so fun to feel her moving, hear her heartbeat & know that she is safely growing inside me.  the whole experience has been like experiencing a miracle happening in my own body...pretty incredible.

14 weeks- the day kevin left for vietnam

17 weeks- easter sunday

19 weeks

21 weeks

22 weeks- mother's day

23 weeks

27 weeks- during our babymoon getaway

29 weeks-baby shower day

32 weeks

33 weeks- mom's surgery day

34 weeks

35 weeks

36 weeks

polls are in!

well the polls are in...
45% of our blog readers think our little lady will make her arrival on Labor Day!  that would be pretty clever of her, wouldn't it.  we'll just have to wait and see. 

my weekly midwife appointments have been going well.  her heartbeat is very healthy and she seems to be about average size.  apparently i have a lot of amniotic fluid, which they say is great and that i'm staying well hydrated.  perhaps that adds to belly girth?  i had a none-stress test (aka fetal monitoring) today because i thought her movements have been changing perhaps slowing a bit, but the test read healthy as can be.  sometimes mothers-to-be feel a change around this time because the movements become more rolling and less spastic. 

at my appointment next week, we'll have reached 38weeks 4days, so nearing her birth.  unless she decides to be an early birthday present for my 29th this saturday? 

pity party

perhaps it's the hormones or the multitude of huge events all happening at once.  but today, in the parking lot of macy's of all places, i had myself a real time pity party.  i couldn't help it the tears just kept coming and i stayed in the car to avoid strange looks from shoppers as i waddled my way around the mall to run errands.  perhaps, i'll stay in tonight,  take a nap and have a good soak in the tub.  that oughta help, right?!

seriously delicious

okay, so not only is our doula amazingly down to earth and friendly but she showed up at our house with a carton of this...

we had never tried this flavor and i'm semi-embarrassed to say we downed the whole thing just hours after she left.  it is seriously delicious!  our meeting went really well, becky is so easy to talk with and i feel already like we've known each other for a long time.  she showed us her bag of tricks...all kinds of comfort items to make the birth as comfortable as possible.  she is an intern at the birth center so we're both new at this but she has two children, is super organized and has a great enthusiasm for what she does!  what more could you ask for? 

kevin and i have nearly completed the nursery.
the last details on the list: hang bookshelves & curtains...bring baby home!

curtains have been surprisingly the most difficult find of all...anyone know where to find good ones?

how do you say, gorgeous?

new wall paper designer by amy butler...oohlala!

http://www.amybutlerdesign.com

a lovely day

what a cutie!

wow do my cheeks even look pregnant?

a mellow afternoon in the sunshine.  today we traveled slightly south to check out Unique OC an independent design & gift show.  there were many great designers and artists there.   it certainly got me inspired.  kevin and i even talked about bringing paper flower designs there next year.

a couple highlights:
sweet lucie's organic ice cream the cutest italian ice cream cart ever, delicious creamy organic ice cream + the sweetest couple owners ever...they were so friendly and wished us the best luck with our soon-to-arrive little girl!


dewi beautiful handmade jewelry by designer alexandra dewey.  i am still in LOVE with her pieces and kinda kicking myself for not buying a necklace while we were there.  they are made of metal and hand sewn thread woven into different shapes.  organic & delicate.  the designer was so friendly. 

kevin was a big fan of the sliders we had for lunch...yummy!  what a wonderful way to spend the afternoon.  wish i would've gotten a picture of jen and her cousin emily who met us there.  fun to see you girls

decorating...every room of the house

my favorite, our furniture is all pretty neutral already.

so, why does decorating a nursery make one want to revamp nearly every room of the house?  poor kevin he is so patient with me and my whims, yet our time (and budget) is totally consumed with more important necessities.  

i have been looking for a rug for our living room for quite a while.  at least one that doesn't cost more than our annual income that is.  i stumbled upon this one from dash & albert that is pretty awesome.  it still costs quite a bit but maybe i can find something similar...or it'll go on super sale?

the funny thing is, the chair featured in on their site uses the same fabric that i had already picked out to reupholster a chair we have.  too good to be true?

i think i'll be saving my pennies to make these two happen.  here are a few other annie selke fabrics that made my heart flutter. 

finishing touches

well, we are excited to say we are to the point of putting finishing touches on chloe's nursery.  everything is washed and ready to go.  we've just gotta hang some artwork & wait for her to arrive.  we really can't wait!


we're going for a bohemian garden look.  above are some of the finds we are working with.

doula+installed car seat=success

well we had a pretty mellow day, kevin had a single chemotherapy treatment today.  it went smoothly and we were back home in 2 hours.  we have a week off until the next treatment.  the rest of the afternoon was spent paying bills, doing housework and napping.  all so necessary. 

in many ways it was a very exciting day.  one more treatment complete, we scheduled a house cleaner to come friday morning(an uber generous gift from kevin's parents), kevin installed the car seat and we met with our doula this evening.  we LOVED her and are so excited to have her help for our birth.  since we are planning a natural birth we want to access any help we can in making it the most comfortable and peaceful process possible, in comes doula becky.  she is trained in massage, breathing and relaxation techniques that help aide in both mine and kevin's comfort.  i'll give her a call in the morning to say, "we're on!".  we'll meet again soon to talk about all the different options that are available.

i would say the day all in all was a big success.  it's amazing what small things can bring such contentment.

More about DONA trained doulas, like becky.   visit: www.dona.org

oh, sleepless nights.

everyone is reminding me to "sleep now" because once baby girl arrives, the night's will be filled with marathon baby feeding.  what about if you already can't sleep?  my pregnancy has been about as smooth sailing symptom-wise as i can imagine.  however these last weeks have proved to be more challenging. 

with an every-growing (how is it possible to be this big) belly and baby hormones flowing strong, i am starting to relate with moms who say this home stretch can be rough.  at least once i'm sleepless in the months to come i will be caring for and holding our sweet little daughter.  i'm sure those night will come with challenges as well, but seems so much more rewarding, no?

the braxton hicks are certainly becoming common place around here.  we are 3 classes into our hypnobabies childbirth classes and are meeting with a potential doula tonight.  our birth center, south coast midwifery offers complimentary birth doulas through their intern program.  so we thought we'd learn more about it.  couldn't hurt to have a little extra support for our birth?

saturday morning we enjoyed the company of a few friends who stopped by.  after a nap we visited our dog friend lucy's second birthday party at the morgan's house, they sure know how to grill up a delicious taco bar!  sunday we put together our nursery glider and in the evening, kevin and i enjoyed a nice walk around the neighborhood.  summer evenings are my favorite!

the weekend was a little up and down for kevin nausea-wise but we were both pleasantly surprised that by monday he was feeling really good.  we ran lots of errands during the day.  that afternoon he went for a walk along main street and the pier while i was happily stretching at my yoga class.

check out our cozy glider...
i can't stop rocking, i think it's only a mild addiction so far? 

thoughts for the morning

it seems in difficult times, the intensity of life surrounding you is magnetic; everything more acute.  what i find with each passing day is a clarity about the type of person i am, want to be and am becoming.  these times certainly point out areas of vulnerability alongside strength, often simultaneously.

i welcome both as part of this process of growth.  i'd much rather experience the ache to have stronger compassion and kindness than avoid it all together. 

although, i do hope it is fleeting to make way for more beauty.

week one

well, here we are on treatment day one, week one.  about a month ago, after visiting a few different doctors for an abnormality, kevin was diagnosed with testicular cancer to be truly honest, we were shocked!

we were told of the diagnosis on friday and surgery was scheduled for monday morning.  we barely had time to think.  which was probably good.

after the pathology results were in it was recommended that he begin the treatment process as soon as possible.  the prognosis was good but needed maintenance.  so treatments are between 4-6 hours a day for 5 days this week.  he will have 2 short (2 hour) treatments the 2 following weeks then repeat the cycle.

the timing couldn't be more crazy.  treatment schedule ends on 09/07, baby is due 09/09...wow!  hopefully she decides to arrive a wee bit "late".  although, i feel ready to pop daily (see picture).  the chemo nurses are super nice and are even giving us a private room so we can relax and so i can stay healthy before baby comes.

the silver lining is after today (day 3) he is feeling alright.  he is resting as much as possible but has felt few side effects.  he is quite a trooper.  we are lucky to get the time he is on disability from work to be together.  we've made little plans to do anything other than short walks, midwife appointments/ baby classes and recouping.  thank goodness for netflix!  and kevin's parents who came to visit the last two days and gave us the royal treatment and spoiled us rotten.  we love you guys!  and we'll have leftovers all week now, after kevin's boss generously brought dinner by tonight.

my mom is still recovering quite well as she has spent the last 9 days in sharp memorial recovery center and is getting 3 hours of physical therapy every day.  we are sad to have not been able to visit her there yet, perhaps next week?  she is making great strides (literally) she walked 100 feet the other day one foot in front of the other...way to go mom!  and got her staples out yesterday.  we will know more about the next steps once she meets with the neurologist.  in the meantime we are thrilled by her daily triumphs.  i can't get enough of our daily chats.  we usually visit in person every week so, i really miss her!

a new favorite color

and a new inspiration.  the bold yellow of lance armstrong's, livestrong campaign and his signature racing color is definitely an amazing reminder of all that can be overcome.

tomorrow kevin begins chemotherapy and we will without a doubt have his triumph in mind as we begin this treatment process.

i will be holding his hand and heart tight.  and be baking up some major comfort food.  my brave (and handsome) husband certainly deserves all the comforts we can afford him.

positive energy, 
prayer,  
love & peace
will be with us tomorrow.